Rescuing and Remembering
by Creatureofthedark
Summary: I hit the ground hard.Soo was not expecting that.No warning falls equals hard,uncomfortable landings.And right now,I don’t think this could hurt any more.I black out to my name being called,& a throbbing pain in the left side of my body. comes after Rain
1. Prologue

**i'm headed to north carolina for a few days. i decided i'd put this up now. you decide if i should continue. as i said. i'm just typing it up to get it out of my head. but i decided i might as well post it. if people want to read it. review so i know if you want me to continue.**

**Prologue**

Running. Running. Must keep running. Can't stop. Not yet. Not now. Must keep going. Run to live. Run to get away. No stopping. Not yet. Still too close. Too close to that building. Not safe. Not safe yet. Not until all evidence of inhabitance is gone. Not until we're alone.

We escaped. Got away from them. From that place. So we must keep going to keep from getting caught. To keep from getting taken back. Because they need us. They're waiting. We must help them escape too. Then we can go farther away. We can go home.

Home. That sounds so good. So safe. A place of protection. I want to go home. But not until we save them. So we can _all_ go home. Then we can all be safe and go to sleep peacefully. Without being hurt. Without being scared. Home. The place where we can relax.

We're still running. But we must be getting far enough away now. It shoulde be almost safe to stop. Almost safe to rest. But then we'll be off again. Moving again. Because they're waiting for us. So we can get them out too and we can all go home.

It's getting harder to breathe. We've been running so long. And we've gone so far. We can't have too much farther to go. The trees are becoming closer and more frequent. We're leaving their territory. As soon as we do, we can rest. But not too long because we can't let them catch up to us if they're chasing.

I stumble now. Yeah. I'm getting tired. But he grabs my arm before I can fall flat on my face. We keep running.

"C'mon. Only a little farther. Then we can rest."

I nod. But I don't answer. I haven't run like this in a long time. And without immediate danger, nothing's motivating me to keep going. It's getting really hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other. So when he starts to take his hand away from my arm, I take it into mine. This helps me keep going.

I can tell he's getting as tired as me, but he seems to be able to ignore it. I can see sweat glistening on his arms as it falls down my face. No. I will not stop. If he can keep going, so can I. I will not slow us down and possibly get us captured again.

But it's getting hard to breathe now. My lungs are burning. It's getting harder and harder to catch my breath. My lungs feel like there's a hand around them. Squeezing. Not letting them expand. Not letting them bring in much needed air. I fear I will soon have to tell him to stop. But I don't want to. I don't want to be the weak link.

He lets go of my hand to pull the strap of the bag farther up his shoulder before it falls. That's all I need to slow down. But not slow enough to process what I see before I get to it. Now I _know_ I'm doomed. Because there's no way to react fast enough.

As he ran past. About five paces ahead after I slow down. On the ground. Barely an inch away from his feet. But right in front of me. The slightest difference in the ground. A leaf blown out of place as he ran past. The sight of sticks. Thin ones. All going the same direction. Not normal. And I know what's going to happen. But not until it's already happening.

The ground is not under me anymore. With a million little snaps, it's gone. I'm falling. I'm clawing at nothing. The air. Then my hand snags the edge of the ground. It doesn't hold. I keep falling. The only thing to show for my efforts is a hand full of sticks and dirt, which I let go of to try to catch something else. There's nothing else to grab.

"Lee!"

I hit the ground hard. Ouch. _Soo_ was not expecting that. No warning falls equals hard, uncomfortable landings. And right now, I don't think this could hurt any more. I black out to my name being called, and a throbbing pain in the left side of my body.


	2. Chapter 1

**I'm back from north carolina. here's chapter one. should i continue?**

**Ch. 1**

I must not have been out long. I awake to pieces of dirt, rocks, and sticks falling somewhere at my feet. I move to sit up and have to suppress a groan as soon as I move an inch. The dirt stops falling.

"Lee!"

Oh. Raph must be coming down to get me. But… how is he doing that?

"Lee, are you okay?" Hmm. He sounds worried. I must have still made a sound when I tried not to groan.

I start to take inventory. I don't try to move again, but the dull throbbing in my side tells me that I definitely did something. But all I know right now is that I'm in pain. But it wouldn't be a good idea to tell Raph that. He'd freak. So what _do_ I tell him? 'Oh I'm just great. Fell about twenty feet and I feel so good, I could do it again.' No.

I settle to telling him _some _truth. "That could have ended worse." Is that _my_ voice? Ew. I try again, trying to make my voice sound less pathetic. "I've _been_ worse." Eh. A little better.

I hear a thud and, barely a second later, feel hands on me feeling my side that's okay and my legs. I can tell he knows I'm not telling him everything, because he doesn't try to move me. He just kneels at my side and puts a hand to my face. "What hurts Lee? And don't downplay it."

I take a deep breath and am about to reply, but it hitches as pain spreads through my side. _Ow_. I _know_ Raph heard that. Because he's quiet. Letting me figure out how bad it is now doubt. I'm so glad Donnie isn't here right now. He'd be overwhelming me with millions of questions. Leo and Mike would be blowing it out of proportion.

I notice I've been quiet for a little too long and decide to try to move a little. At least sit up some. I use my right arm to push myself up to a sort-of-sitting position, not letting pain get in my way. I don't move my left arm, letting it dangle as I focus on pushing myself up. When I _do_ try to move it, I realize I can't.

"Huh." I have a feeling I'm starting dumbly at my arm, but I don't care right now. It's probably too dark for Raph to notice that anyway.

"What?" I can hear strain in his voice. Oops. Did I 'huh' out loud?

I look up at him and realize there's just enough light to slightly see him and I figure he can sorta see me too. "I uh… can't really move my arm." Good job Lee. Sound clueless why don't ya.

Raph doesn't notice though. He sighs, rubbing his hand down his face. "Does it hurt?"

I test that, sitting up a little more to us my right arm to move my left. "I don't feel a thing."

He sighs, but I can't decide if that's a good or bad sigh. I take it as good when his voice is less strained. "What hurts?"

I move my right hand down my left side and suppress some groans as I hit sore spots. Then I get to my bottom rib. I can't hold in a squeak. I see Raph flinch, but I continue down. Besides that and a _very_ bruised hip, I think I'm okay. But then there's the issue on how bad my arm is…

"Don't downplay it Lee."

I sigh a small sigh and look him in the eyes. Which shine beautifully in the light I might add. "Besides a bruised hip and my arm, I might have a cracked rib. Just one though. The others are okay."

He's quiet for a moment. Probably wondering if I'm telling him the truth. Then he nods. "Okay. But are you sure your hip is just bruised?"

I take this as my chance. "Well let's see shall we?" Before he can protest, I latch on to his arm with my good hand and use him to steady myself as I begin to stand up. Then his arms are around my waist and I am practically lifted to my feet.

I'm surprised at not just how he keeps from hurting me, but also on how he doesn't try to keep me down. Then I remember the others. But still… "You're not going to sop me from standing?"

He chuckles. He must be relieved I'm not as bad as he worried. "You're as bad as Leo when it comes to staying down. I'm not about to argue."

I gasp as I put too much weight on my hip.

He growls. "Until you do that."

I look up to him. "I'm okay. Just let me get used to the pain." I put more and more weight on it and begin to loosen up everywhere else too. "Besides. You're just as bad as Leo when it comes to staying down too. Almost worse."

He chuckles.

After a while, I begin to be my old pain-ignoring self. Then I look down at my arm. "But what do we do with my arm?"

Raph flinches at that. "We'll have to pop it back into place."

I flinch now. "Ouch."

He sighs. "Yeah."

We're both remembering last time I had a dislocated arm. It hurt. And he hates hurting me. Even if it's helping me. "Well… have at it."

He shakes his head. "I'm not Don. I need more light."

I look up to the light shining down into this freakin' hole we happen to be at the bottom of. "How do we get back up?"

He looks at me as if I'm missing something.

"What?"

"I have a rope Lee."

I look closer and see the hint of the outline of the rope against the side of the hole. "Oh." Of course. That's why all of that dirt was falling. He was climbing down the rope. And _also_ of course. He had the rope earlier. I sigh. "Yeah. I remember now."

He looks at me worriedly for a second. "Are you sure you're okay?"

What? So I can't have an off day? Wait. I don't _have_ off days. Oh. "Yeah. I'm fine. I'm just… still trying to get my head back into gear."

He puts a hand to my head. "Did you hit it?"

I sigh and roll my eyes. "No." Then I kiss him. Random. I know. When I pull back, he's looking at me confused. "You worry _way _to much."

He grins. "But not as bad as Leo right?"

I grin back. "You're gettin' there."

"Ooh. Ouch."

I smile. Then look up at the light. "How 'bout we get outta here?"

He takes my good arm and pulls it over his shoulder. I realize what he's trying to do and help by leaping onto his shell. A whine escapes me at the impact and he freezes. "Lee…"

"I'm okay. I… just forgot for a second."

He doesn't move for a while, but eventually reaches back tentatively to situate me better on his shell. Then he carefully puts my left arm over his shoulder. He seems to relax when he knows I wasn't lieing about not feeling my arm. "Alright. Let's get outta here."

I lay my head on his shoulder as he walks slowly to the rope. "Raph. I'm okay. Do what you need to. You don't need to be careful."

He turns to me as he reaches for the rope. "I _want_ to be careful. But… unfortunately that's gonna be hard while climbin' this rope. Grit yer teeth sweetheart. This is gonna hurt." His voice is very controlled.

I am quick to reassure him. "I can stand pain as long as I'm with you."

He reaches for my good hand and my legs tighten around him to hold myself up as he lifts it to his mouth. He kisses it. "I love you," he murmurs. I don't like the guilty sound in his voice. What's _that_ about?

I kiss his shoulder. "I love you too." As he lets go, I put my arm back around his shoulders, gripping his shell in a death grip. "Whether this hurts or not, no matter _what _sound I make, don't _ever_ stop." I see his hands clench the rope so hard, his knuckles get pale. I lay my head back down. I clench my teeth. "Alright. Go."

It happens quick. One second we're still, the next we're propelling up the rope. A strangled whine escapes me before I can stop it and I can swear I hear Raph's jaw pop. I use all of my self-control to keep quiet now. It hurts. _Soo_ bad. It feels like we're climbing for hours instead of seconds. But I have no time to register that we're at the top before we're on the ground and Raph is statue still on his hands and knees.

We are both still for a long time, waiting for the other to move. When I don't, Raph gets panicky. "Lee?"

I don't move. "Just… give me a minute," I breathe when I finally let out my breath. My jaw hurts. My voice shakes.

"Are you crying?" I can hear panic creeping into his voice.

I finally force my hand to unlatch from his shell and wipe under my eyes. I look at the tears shining in the sun. "I guess I was," I murmur. "But you did good."

As he hears I'm crying, I see his hands dig into the dirt. This gives me the will I need to move. I slowly slide off his back onto the ground. My vision flashes white and as blackness moves in, I'm sure I'm about to go under again. I lay down, fighting the blackness.

"Lee? Lee are you okay?"

I force myself to stay awake for a little longer to say, "Raph. Pop my arm back into place before I go out."

"You're alright?" He puts a hand to my shoulder and another to my arm.

"Yeah. Just don't be surprised if I pass out."

"Alright. Ready?"

I nod.

A flash of pain and a sickening pop. Then… nothing.

* * *

**i'm not sure if i want to finish this one or not so reviews would be awesome.**


	3. Chapter 2

**the thing about me is that when i start writing, even though i don't mean to, i find myself going back to it and writing again and again. so... i guess no matter what i say i'll end up finishing it. haha. **

**Ch. 2**

_Sounds. Many sounds. Where am I? It's cold. Hard. Uncomfortable. I want to look around. But my eyes… so heavy. My arms feel like lead weights. My head hurts. Oh, my head hurts. Why? Why do I feel all of this? What's going on?_

_Voices. No. Only one. Who… Raph. It's Raph. He sounds… worried. Why? What's wrong? So tired. But… must wake up. Must find out where we are. I force my eyes to open. Raph is calling my name. I need to let him know I'm okay. I look around. Are my eyes open? It's black. But…_

"_Raph?" My voice comes out in a horrible croaking sound._

"_Lee! Where are you?"_

"_Raph, is it dark? I can't see anything." I try to move and manage to only turn my head._

"_Yes. It's okay. I'm here. Keep talking so I can find you."_

_Where are we Raph? What happened? What's going on?"_

_I suddenly hear him really close, then he's touching my arm. I try to move again, and manage to sit up some. I am suddenly pulled into his arms. He hugs me and I return it as I think. Then it all comes back. The fight._

"_The others!"_

"_They're… not here."_

***

Sounds. Many sounds. Outside sounds. Crickets. Fire? I open my eyes. The night sky looms over me, stars sparkling. Light to my left. I turn my head a little. There's a fire. Who built a fire? Why? I try to sit up. Pain. All over. Lots of pain. I gasp before I can stop it.

"Hey, hey. Stay down."

Raph comes out of the trees with more wood. I relax, falling back to the ground with a sigh. I piece it all together. I remember everything. Well… almost everything…

"You okay?" He throws the wood in a pile and adds a little to the fire. Then he comes over to me.

"I hurt a little."

He chuckles. "In other words, a lot. But the question is, how much and where?"

I smile slightly up at his upside down face as he leans over my head. "It's sad when you know that much about me to know when I'm in true pain before I even move or say anything."

He grins, coming down closer to me. "That's not _sad_. Just means I pay attention." He gives me a light kiss.

"Oh is _that _what it means?"

He chuckles. "Alright. No more sidetracking. How bad is it?"

I take full inventory, moving from my right hand to left. Then right arm to left. Then legs, neck, and everything else. I manage to push myself up to a sitting position with my right arm. "My shoulder is killing me. 'Surprise there.' And my side hurts some. But not too bad." The stiffness has set in.

He eyes me carefully for a second before nodding, deciding I'm telling the truth. "You're kinda scaring me by telling me the truth," he admits.

I smile a little. "Sorry."

He pulls me carefully into his lap. "You're acting different."

I lean against his chest, tucking my head under his chin. We haven't cuddled like this in a long time. "Am I?"

"Ever since we decided to break out of there. You're acting… younger I guess. How you used to before you were taken from us and had to become stronger. Before you began to get tougher."

I feel him kiss my head. "Is it worrying you?"

"A little," he admits. "I feel like I need to protect you. The aura around you screams 'fragile'. And what scares me is 'broken' is right there next to it. And I don't know why."

I know he doesn't know. But the problem is, neither do I. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay sweetheart. It's not your fault." His voice begins to fade.

I know he's about to fall asleep. That's just fine with me though. I'm warm by the fire and in his arms. Protected from everything. He lays his head on mine, which is on his shoulder as I close my eyes.

***

_Light? There's light? I open my eyes and look around. We're in a brick… cell I guess you'd call it. Bu there's light now? I look to Raph on my left to see him still asleep. His arm is around my shoulders and when I move, he tenses up and pulls me closer. I smile as I lift his arm away._

_He wakes up now, eyes snapping open and hands going to where his sais should be but aren't. He relaxes when he looks over and sees me, but instantly is looking around through narrowed eyes, evaluating the place. "Why is there light now?"_

_I frown. Coming out of my little 'me and Raph' bubble, I realize that this could be a bad thing. "I don't know. They were on when I woke up." I look him over. A cut on the arm, a bruise on his left shoulder, and a gash over his eye that has only recently stopped bleeding. Nothing too bad._

"_What?"_

_I realize I'm still frowning and relax my face a little. "Nothing. I was just seeing if you were okay."_

_He scowls at me. "We're sitting in this cell, not knowing what's going to happen to us, and you're seeing if I'm okay?"_

_I sigh, rolling my eyes. "Of course."_

_He laughs. That wasn't the reaction I expected. "Sometimes I swear you're insane," he says, shaking his head._

"_Maybe I am. But you love me anyway, right?"_

_He puts his arm back around me and pulls me next to him. "Right."_

"_See. Now what does that make you?"_

_He chuckles, not replying. He leans his head back against the wall. "Time to wait and see what's going to happen to us."_

_I lay back against him and relax. As long as I'm in his arms, I'm going to be fine. When it comes time to worry, I'll worry. But not right now._

***

I blink my eyes a few times before squeezing them shut and rolling to my left side. Well… I _try_ to. I freeze as I put too much weight on my side and decide to roll to my _right_ side. I listen for other things as I do this, making sure the area around me is safe. I know I'm alone.

I figure Raph must have laid me down to… go do something. After waking up a little more, I manage to sit up and begin to struggle to my feet. After fighting off a wave of dizziness, I go to the stream a few yards off in the clearing I'm in. I kneel down next to it and begin to wash my face and arms.

I study the water and after declaring it clean looking I get a drink. As I fling my hands to get rid of some of the water, I look around. Surrounded by trees, I have no idea where I am. I look at a tall tree and get an idea. I walk up to it, judging the height.

I look around guiltily for Raph before leaping up to the first branch and swinging up to another. Using my right arm as much as possible and not bending too much to protect my ribs, I jump and swing from branch to branch until I reach the top. I unclench my teeth and relax my muscles as I look around.

I can see the hint of civilization in the far distance. The good thing is, it's all _down_ the mountain. We're _in_ the mountains right now. I turn around and look to where we came from. Nothing. Trees. We covered a huge amount of ground yesterday. Moving nonstop. We're going to have to move today to make up time _I_ helped lose.

I hear the tiny snap of a stick on the ground and look down to see Raph walking by. "Raph!"

He looks up to me instantly and frowns at me when he finds me. "You shouldn't be up there. How did you _get_ up there anyway? I thought you were hurt."

I smile. "I'm fine. C'mon. Look."

He's already on his way up. It takes him half the time it took me. He stops next to me on the branch I'm on, his arm going securely around my waist. I lean my head on his shoulder as he studies the distance.

"How far do you think they are?"

His hand grips the branch he's supporting us up with harder, his knuckles turning a little pale. "Another day maybe."

"That's it?"

He pulls me into his arms and leaps down branches to the ground. He lets go, but keeps an arm around my shoulders as he picks up the bag with supplies. "I ran as long as I could while you were out and couldn't feel the pain."

"Oh yeah? And how long is 'as long as you could'?"

"I'm gonna guess it was four or five hours. I'm glad you were out that bad." We start heading towards civilization.

"Four or five hours! Carrying me too! No wonder you were tired when I woke up last night."

He rolls his eyes. "Relax. I've done worse things."

I 'growl' at him as I shrug off his arm and start jogging. "C'mon. _My_ turn to wear myself out."

Raph growls at me and starts to go faster to keep up with me. "That's not funny Lee. You really should keep it slow."

"Alright _Leo_. Whatever you say."

That does it. I take off as he runs after me, shouting threats I know very well won't be carried out the whole way.

* * *

**I actually have more than this typed up, but i'm still sorting things out. there are some twists i'm not sure of yet or don't know how to write them out right. so... we'll see.**


	4. Chapter 3

**yeah. took a long time. but i think i finally got the story how i want it. written but not typed. i'll post as i type.**

**Ch. 3**

_**Clang.**_

_As one, Raph and I jump to our feet. But unlike Raph, I get a wave of dizziness and grab his arm to hold myself up. He pulls me close to hold me up and, I suspect, to protect me as we hear footsteps coming our way. I put my hand over the one around my waist, lacing my fingers in his, as the door opens._

_Our captor walks in. On either side of him are two guards with guns that I don't even want to know what they do. They stop a few yards away, getting the hint from Raph's warning growl. But the man takes a few more steps forward before stopping. I see him study the way Raph is holding me before he speaks._

"_You may want to know why only you two are here."_

_I look up at Raph. The look on his face says everything. He's not in a very sociable mood right now. And he doesn't know who this is. So I look back to him, ignoring what he said before. "Who are you? Where are the others?"_

_He seems surprised at my boldness and my calm, but replies easily. "I am Samael. You can call me Sam. I am a scientist that has a few connections. No doubt people you've run in to before."_

_Raph growls at this. Oh I've heard of the other scientists they've run in to. None of the stories are very good. But at least they have a good ending. Will we be as lucky this time? _

"_I have heard much of you and took that ambush the other day as my chance to have my own time to research. And the others? They're in another facility. They're scheduled to have their time in a few days. Aren't you wondering why you're separated from them?"_

"_Why?"_

_I look up to Raph, surprised at the calm in his voice. But I see all of his hatred trapped inside through his eyes. His control is really being tested right now._

'_Sam' smirks at him before looking back down at me. "When I saw the way you two were fighting, protecting each other, and the way you looked at her…" He looks back up at Raph. "I was interested in your relationship. I see I was right in my assumption that you two are together."_

_I hear and feel a very low growl in the back of Raph's throat. His arm tightens almost painfully around me. I squeeze his hand for a second and he instantly loosens up. I look at Sam, hoping he's not implying what I think he is._

"_So what are you hoping to get by keeping us here?" My voice is flat. Cold and calculated._

_He grins. "Right now, only tests."_

_Raph takes a step in front of me, putting the arm that was around me in front of me. He tries to push me more behind him, but I fight him. "You touch her and I'll-"_

"_You'll what? You're no match for these guns," he cuts in, indicating the two guns the guards are holding behind him. _

"_Oh I think I can handle it." I don't like the cockiness in his voice._

_I shove past his arm, putting an arm across his chest as he threatens to lunge at 'Sam'. I saw that coming. He's pushed back a few feet from the unsuspected shove, giving me room to turn around and face the man while holding Raph back with a hand on his chest. It all happens in a few seconds and Sam could have been dead by now. But so would Raph._

_Samael eyes me. "You know him pretty well don't you? I saw no sign of that coming."_

_Now it's _my_ turn to smirk. "You pick up on a few things after a few years."_

"_How long is a few years?"_

"_About seven." _

"_What's your name?"_

"_Lee." I'm a little weirded out by the fact that I'm having a conversation with our enemy. But he's being reasonable right now._

"_How old are you?"_

"_Almost twenty-two."_

"_Him?" He nods towards a very amused Raphael._

"_We're talking about me."_

_He raises his eyebrows. "So we are." He thinks a moment. "What is your relationship status?"_

_I look to Raph. After a barely detectable nod, I answer. "He's my husband."_

"_You're married?" His eyes are wide._

_I grin. "In a way. We couldn't exactly have a priest marry us could we? But we had a ceremony. For my benefit. To make things as 'normal' as possible."_

"_How long ago was this?"_

"_About three years."_

_He studies us._

"_Any more questions?" I don't like the way he's looking at me._

_He takes his time thinking this one through. I don't like it. Raph apparently doesn't either, because the amused look is gone and he pulls me back up against him, wrapping his arms securely around me. When Samael finally looks back to us, I have a very strong feeling he's making sure not to anger Raph._

"_Have… you two ever-"_

"_I wouldn't finish that question if I were you," Raph spits out in a very deep growl, dripping in hate._

_I lean easily against him as the two guards flinch and Samael eyes him warily. I try not to show my amusement. He looks back down to me. "Doesn't he ever intimidate you? Scare you at all?"_

_I grin. "Let's just say he can love as strong as he can hate. And there's no reason to be afraid of him when you know he loves you."_

_He shakes his head in wonder. He looks back up to Raph. "He has never scared you? At all?"_

_I shrug. "Not recently." I laugh. "But he is someone who could scare you if he wanted to." Then I remember what he asked. "That's why we're here isn't it. So you can do 'tests' on us_."

_He grins. "You can't blame someone for being curious."_

"_Oh trust me. You just gave us a reason to."_

_He sighs. "Oh well. I guess our talk is done then."_

_There is no warning. The guns come up and fire. Then… nothing._

***

"You okay?"

I nod absently. I keep playing everything over and over again in my head. But I still can't remember what I feel I need to. I still can't remember what I feel I need to tell Raph. I have very clear memories. I can remember every detail of that place. What everyone said. What happened. Except for what I need to.

Why I can't remember, I don't know. Raph says it could be shock. A memory so bad my mind has blocked it out. This makes me not want to remember. But I feel as if I should. It's not like I have a choice. If it comes back, I won't be able to stop it. It will come whether I want it to or not.

"You sure?"

I look to him, smiling. "Yeah. I'm fine."

We've stopped to rest after my ribs started hurting. It became hard to breathe without pain. I can see why he's worried. A cracked rib shouldn't be hurting me this much. I know it's not just cracked. At least one is broken. But I need to keep him thinking it's not that bad. Because we need to get to the others. I've been trying to keep it light, but the fact is, they're in trouble.

I get up now, careful not to wince at the sudden jolt of pain. We're about a few hours away. But the question is, are we going to get there before Samael does anything to them? That's why we have to keep moving. We have to get there, find Mike, and get the others out. Of course, that's easier said than done.

"Let's go. We need to keep moving."

Raph doesn't argue. I can see the worry he's holding in. He knows we need to hurry. I can see he feels bad for letting me hurt myself. But I know what he's thinking. Better me hurting than his brothers, _my_ brothers, dead because we didn't hurry fast enough. That's why he tries not to care. And that's why I don't tell him it hurts more than it should. Because If I do, he _will_ care.

We keep moving. Going by the help we got from Mikey, we make up plans along the way. Backups and problem solvers in case something goes wrong. It helps keep our minds off of the fact that they could be dieing this very minute. Raph is getting more and more tense though. The closer we get, the more he's ready to fight.

I know what he's feeling. These guys had run-ins with scientists before. They've told me of the real bad ones before I came. And they had small encounters in the first two years I was with them, not allowed to fight. I hated all of the men they told me about. It was hard to not lose my temper when Samael threatened Raph.

"I'm gonna beat up Donnie when we get there."

I smile at the hollow threat. "Why?"

"He should have made those things less breakable." I can hear the frustration in his voice. He's really getting worked up.

I take his hand, picking up the pace a little. "C'mon. The faster we get there, the sooner you can get to him."

He cracks a smile my way. "I love you."

"I love you too."


	5. Chapter 4

**When i had gotten to this point, i still hadn't figured out what i wanted to have happened. but it was getting clearer. sorry it took me so long. dad's computer doesn't have the newest internet explorer. and those drop-down boxes don't come down because of that so i coudn't get to my stories to update them. it was frustrating.**

**Ch. 4**

"_Raph!"_

_As soon as my eyes open, I remember. They shot at us. At _him_. Where is he? Is he okay? I look around the room and my heart stops when I see him. He's laying on the floor a few yards into the door, not moving. For a second, I'm paralyzed with the fear that he's never going to wake up. Then I'm at his side._

_I lift his head into my lap, my hand shaking as I check his pulse. When I feel it, tears overflow my eyes with relief. I reach out, pulling him more into my lap, clutching him to me in desperation, wishing that I could somehow get us out of here. I see different punctures on him, and other evidence of 'testing'. _

_I shiver. What are they going to do with _me_? Will Raph wake up before they get to me? I couldn't protect _him_, but… could he protect _me_? I burry my face into his neck, breathing in all that is Raph, ignoring the different smells of this place. And for a moment, I'm calm. For a moment, I am in my happy place. But only for a moment._

_He moves. Shifts a little in my arms. He groans and I smooth away the lines on his forehead. It soothes him as it always does and he goes back into what I can only guess is a mix between sleep and just plain knocked out._

_Then there's that sound again. The door down the hall. No. I need to be with him. They can't take me away. I begin to stand up, but something gets caught. I look down to see my foot on a chord. It takes a precious second to remember the earpiece and realize it wasn't taken away. And another to put it in my pocket after seeing it's broken._

_My heart is already sinking at this realization when I get an idea. They're taking me out. Where? I don't know. But if by some chance, there's a screwdriver… That's all I need. I know how to fix this. I watched Don make it. The others were wearing headsets and if by _another_ chance Samael is lying that he has the others, maybe we can contact them. They won't have the headsets if they're captured. _

_All of these thoughts run through my head in a few seconds. I sit back down, pulling Raph into my arms again, adopting the hateful look I want to shoot at whoever's coming to get me. I know all of these 'chances' are far-fetched, but I hang on to them. They're the only form of hope I have now. To get us out and save the others._

_As the door opens and the guards from before come in, I clutch tighter to Raph. I give them the death glare as they come towards me. I'm pulled off my feet and begin to struggle, but another guard comes in with one of those guns again. _

_I take one last look at Raph as they pull me out of the cell and down the hallway. I keep telling myself that letting them take me so I can possibly find a way out is the best I can do for Raph right now. Regardless of what they do to me. Nevertheless, my heart rate picks up as they shove me into a room and close the door behind me. _

_I love you Raph._

***

_Why can't I remember!_

_**Snap!**_

I barely have enough time to grab onto another branch before I fall to the branches and possibly the ground below. I squeak a little at the pain from the odd angle of my side. As if the crack of the branch wasn't enough, the squeak really gets Raph's attention.

"Lee! Hang on! I'll be right there!"

I painfully reach my other arm up to the branch I'm hanging on. "I'm okay."

"No. You're not." He walks across the top of the branch I am currently hanging on. "You can't pull yourself up."

I try, but instantly stop as I'm rewarded with a shot of pain through my side. I hear Raph sigh. I glare up at him. "Don't sigh at me. You can't blame me for wanting to try."

He gives me the 'you're lucky I love you' grin as he sets the bag of supplies down. He keeps the rope. "I'd usually just lift you up, but I think it will be less dangerous_ and _painful if I use this." He throws it over a branch above us and lets it slide down to where I can reach. Ah. A pulley system.

I grab the rope and he pulls me up, frowning. When I step onto the branch, he puts an arm around me and leads me to the bag, keeping an eye on me until I sit down. As he puts the rope back, I confront him. "What was that face for?"

He sits down on his branch. "You're lighter."

I blink. That's not what I was expecting. He knows we haven't eaten practically anything in about four days. Haven't run into any wildlife to hunt and only found a few edible fruit…-ish things. Of course I'm going to be lighter.

"Yeah… That's what happens when you don't eat."

He shakes his head. "I didn't realize it would affect you so much." He's looking at me worriedly.

"I'm fine Raph."

He glares at me. "Say 'fine' one more time and I swear-"

I stand up. "C'mon. We're almost to civilization. Then we can save the guys and go home. And _then_…" I hold up a finger to stop him from talking. "_Then_ you can finally stop worrying about me and give me any food you want. Of course… I'd rather not eat so much I get fat. But I guess there isn't really much chance of that is there?"

He's sitting there, eyebrow raised at my little 'talking mostly to myself' moment.

"What?"

That does it. He snickers as he gets up. "Alright. Let's go."

We start again. We should be about able to see the buildings through the trees up ahead. Almost there.

***

"_How's it going?"_

"_Almost there."_

_I can't remember what happened yesterday. Raph says he practically had a heart attack when he woke up and I wasn't there. And when they brought me back, they threw me to the ground and all I did was curl up on myself. He says when he pulled me into his arms, silent tears began running down my face._

_He had asked me what they did, but he says all I kept saying over and over again was 'I'm sorry'. When he finally got me to calm down, I had opened my hand, revealing a small piece of metal. This morning there was no memory. Except for the metal piece in the perfect shape to be used as a screwdriver._

_I had gotten to work, using the corners and edges to re-fit wires together and putting other pieces of things in the holes for makeshift screws. I'm almost done. Just a few more loose ends to tie up or connect. _

_Now I just have to hope at least one of the others somehow has their headset. If they don't? Well…we're still breaking out. Just not as easy as it would be if we had some sort of help._

_Raph puts a hand under my chin, lifting my face up to look at him. I'm hit with pain and worry in his eyes as he looks into mine. "Are you _sure_ you can't remember what happened?"_

"_I'm sure. I don't remember a thing." I lift his hand off my chin and up to my mouth to kiss it. "I really don't."_

Click.

_We both look down at the custom five-way radio earpiece after I snap it back together. I look around and listen as I put it in my ear. No one has come in for either one of us today and I don't plan on giving them a chance. Raph had made it very clear this morning that since last night, he's been ready to get me out of here. But I'm taking it upon myself to do the same thing for him._

_I turn it on. Static. Then it goes silent. "Testing 1, 2. Leo? Mike? Donnie?"_

_Silence. Then, "Lee!"_

_I flinch at the sudden noise. Raph notices. He looks to my brightening face. "No. Freaking. Way."_

"_Mikey! Mike, listen to me. Where are the others?"_

_It's quiet for a second before he answers. "They're inside."_

"_Where Mikey?"_

"_They're in the building. Someone has them. I made it in once and was going to try to get them out, but Leo went into leader mode when I couldn't open the door and told me to come back out here and-"_

"_Here? Where's here?"_

"_I'll get to that. _Anyway,_ before I left, Donnie told me to see if I could get some information that I could either give him or you if I found out where you were so I went to other rooms and found a computer. We're right on the west side of the mountains where the city meets the trees and-" _

"_Mikey!"_

"_What?"_

"_We're in our own jam."_

"…_Shell."_

"_Yeah. So I need information and I need simple answers. We need to get out of here."_

"_You're caught too?"_

"_Yes, Mikey. We're in a totally different building, but I'm hoping the layout is the same. What did you find on the computers?"_

"_Ohhhh. You're in the building on the top of the mountains east to us."_

"_Are we?"_

"_Yeah. I saw it on a map in the computer. I found the floor plans of the two buildings. They're exactly the same."_

_I laugh a short laugh in amazement. "Wow. _They_ don't have any imagination."_

_Mike snickers. _

"_Alright Mike. I need how you got to Leo and Don when you went in. Backwards." _

"_So _you_ can get _out_, right?"_

"_Exactly."_

"_Okay." It's quiet for a moment. "Alright. From the door of your cell, you need to turn left. Your place may be different, but here there was practically any security. At the end of that hallway you turn… left again." Silence again. I can almost hear him thinking. "The first door on your right is a staircase. Go up all of them."_

"_What's he sayin'?"_

"_He's savin' our butts. I'll tell you when he's done. Go ahead Mike."_

"_Go through the door you get to. Turn right. There will be a window at the end of the hallway. That's your escape. Hopefully there'll be something outside for you to use to get to the ground._

"_Good job Mikey. What other info ya got?"_

*******

"Which building?"

I sit down at the base of a tree, catching my breath. I lean my head against the trunk, closing my eyes. "The one closest to the trees. And looks like a jail."

Raph kneels next to me. "Are you okay?"

No. I hurt so bad. I can't breathe. But I have to help. "I'm good."

"Maybe you should wait here."

"No! You are _not_ going in there without me. Absolutely not."

He sighs, shaking his head.

I stand up. "I'll be fine."

He growls. "You said 'fine' again."

I grin. "My favorite word." When he rolls his eyes, I decide to drop the subject. "C'mon. We've got to save Leo."

I knew that would help. He bursts out laughing before suddenly silencing it. "Alright," he mumbles. "Let's go save Leo."


	6. Chapter 5

**have this typed too. so yeah. kinda short but best place to stop. i was having fun with this one.**

**Ch. 5**

"Now aren't you glad I took the time to get this stuff?"

I'm scanning the roof of the deemed 'captive' building with a pair of 'borrowed' binoculars. "No. But they are useful." There are no cameras on the roof. No security measures. I'm kinda disappointed in the lack of security. It's like Samael doesn't think an infiltration will be a problem. This makes me a little worried.

I put the binoculars away and Raph turns to me. "Anything?"

I shake my head. "No. But that's what's weird."

He frowns. "Makes me wonder what's on the _inside_."

"Same here."

"Not much more really."

Raph and I whirl around, weapons ready. Our defenses are instantly let down though when we see Mikey grinning at us a few feet away. "Mikey!" I run to him, giving him a hug.

He hugs me in a very tight grip. "How's it goin'?"

I have to push away the wave of dizziness I get when pain shoots up my side from the hug. I ignore it, laughing. "It really could be better."

Raph puts an arm around Mike's shoulders, tightening it for a second before just relaxing against him. "Did you seriously just ask that question?"

"Never hurts to ask."

Raph and I roll our eyes.

"So what's the story here hotshot?" Raph asks.

He grins. "I've been keeping up on anything they do to Donnie and Leo. But they haven't done a thing. No food is as bad as it's been."

Raph and I frown. I don't like it. "Weird."

"I know, right? But that's the reason they haven't been able to get out. Because they can't unlock the cell. They can't escape like you guys somehow did. I assume it was when someone came in to take one of you?"

Raph nods. "Yeah."

Something isn't right about all of this. It's all too easy. There has to be a reason for so little security. It's all wrong. I look to Raph. He's looking at me. "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

He grins. "It's a trap."

"Exactly."

Samael had said he was waiting a few days to do tests on Leo and Don. Why? This whole thing is a test. A sick game of corner the mouse mixed with a rat's maze. He's testing us on loyalty, strength, love, mind-thought, and evaluating all at the same time. He may be also testing on if the bond between Raph and I is as strong as a normal relationship would be. Or if it's stronger or weaker than that with his brothers.

"Mike. You knew this, didn't you?"

He grimaces. "I was hoping I was just being paranoid."

I grin. "It's okay Mike. Sam is making a mistake."

He looks at me confused. "How?"

Raph replies. "He's letting us get together." He looks to me. "We need a new set of plans."

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a minute. What's next?"

Raph and I turn to him. We answer at the same time. "Spring the trap."

"Oh."

I turn to Raph. "You have any ideas?"

An evil grin spreads across his face. His eyes flash. "A few."

***

"_I'm fine. I'm shaking it off."_

_I sigh, risking a glance back at him as he shakes his arm, trying to get the pain to go away. _

_Only two guys came in this time. It was a little troublesome to beat those guys without our weapons. But if you swing those guns fast enough, they can be a pretty good way to knock someone out. One of them did manage to cut Raph with a piece of the broken one though. Luckily it's only a small cut on the arm._

_We head down the hall to the end. Mike had said turn left. We're almost to the end when Raph stops me. "Lee, wait."_

_I turn to see him running through a door. "Raph! What are you doing?" I hiss at him. When I get to the door, he's throwing things into a bag. "What are you doing?"_

_He chuckles. "Borrowing a few things."_

_I think his definition of 'borrowing' is hilarious. But I'm not amused right now. "Raph!" I risk nothing above a hiss._

"_Relax." He throws two more things into the bag as he throws a pair of sais at me. "We might need these."_

_I catch them. One red and one black._

"_I know they're miss-matched. For luck."_

_I let myself smile. "Can we go now?"_

"_Yeah."_

_We head out again, going to the end of the hall and turning left. We instantly jump to the right of that hallway, sidestepping through the door to our right. Then we begin our climb up. We do what Mikey said and go up all of the stairs. Three flights. We crack open the door at the top and look through._

_There's one person up here. Doesn't look like a guard, but we can't take the chance. I give Raph the signal and we both go through. As soon as the man sees us, a gun is brought up. Raph is ready. The guy has no time to fire. Then we're running down the hallway. We stop at the window, opening it and looking out._

_The closest tree is five feet out. I turn to Raph. "Time for some new acrobatic moves." I jog a few feet down the hall and turn to the window._

"_No! Lee, this is no time to try something new!"_

_I grin. "Okay. Not new. Just not used much." I take off._

_Raph watches me like a hawk as I run towards the window. About a half foot away from it, I leap through it, hands outstretched in front of me. I grab the branch in front of me, swinging my legs up to hook around it and turn up on top of it. I turn to Raph jumping to another branch._

_I jump down off the one I'm on, snagging the branch under me and swinging my legs forward to stand on another. I instantly step off of that one, falling to another. I grab that one before swinging up and letting go. I drop the last few feet to the ground. Raph lands next to me and we take off running. _

"_Since when do you climb trees like that?"_

_I laugh. "Mikey's game of racing at the farmhouse."_

"_Who won?"_

"_I did… once."_

_We both laugh as we start to run faster._

***

"Stat report?"

"Raph and I are ready."

I hear a scuffle, then Raph is talking. "I swear lee. If you get a single scratch on you before I can get there, I will _never_ let you be bait again."

I smile to myself. "I love you too. Alright. I'm moving in."

"Be careful." A strained whisper that tears into my heart.

"I will."

There's another scuffle of sound and Mikey has the headset again. "So what's the story oh amazing S-A-N-G?"

"S-A-N-G?"

"Secret agent ninja girl."

I snicker. "I love you Mikey." I start climbing the tree. "I'm going up."

"I might have to change that to secret agent monkey girl," he mutters to himself.

"I think not." I peek over the windowsill. When I see the coast is clear, I climb in. "I'm in."

Mike is suddenly serious. "I'd tell you to just follow my directions I told you before, backwards, but this way is a little more confusing."

I begin walking down the hall. "Wow. A lot of doors," I whisper.

"Exactly. Okay. You want the door marked 'stairs'."

I find it. "Wow. So original."

I hear Mike snicker on the other end. "Okay. You know to go down three flights. But there are two doors where you stop. Go through the left one. The rest is pretty much easy now."

I do what he says. "I've got it from here Mike."

There's a click as he turns off the headset.

I'm on my own now. I go down the hall diagonally to my left and eventually get to the door I want. I go through it into the room with the cell. When I go in, two voices chorus my name. I turn to the bars and look them over. Mikey's right. Not a new scratch on them. Only healing ones from the fight.

"Hey. How's it goin'? Anyone order a locksmith?"

Leo and Don are running to the bars. "Lee, you shouldn't be here. And alone too! I can't believe-"

"Relax Leo. You're not the only one who can come up with plans." I look at the lock. Then to Don. "Standard electrical lock?"

He nods. "Yeah."

I dig through the bag I brought with me. I find the little explosive that Raph nabbed when we were escaping. I hold it up and eye him.

He smiles. "Perfect."

I grin as I stick it to the lock. "Okay. Before I set this thing off, I should warn you. An alarm is going to go off. The sixth door down the hall on your right has your weapons in it. Meet me at that door and get ready to hold the fort until Raph and Mike get here. Got it?"

Leo eyes me, catching on immediately. "You think it's a trap."

"Exactly."

"You're springing the trap!?"

"Of course. Samael is making a big mistake letting us get together."

He evaluates that, then nods. "Wait. Who?"

"The person who has you here." I turn to Don.

His eyes glint with expectation. "Set it."


	7. Chapter 6

**took a little longer than i thought. it's crunch time on my summer reading homework. 10 written page summaries with comparisons for one book and defs. of literary terms and examples for another. so yeah. here's the next one.**

**Ch. 6**

"Stand back."

I push the button and start running down the hall. I go into the room with their weapons, relieved that they were in the same room where ours were kept. I pick them up as I hear a muffled explosion. Then the alarm goes off. Leo and Don come in seconds later and I throw them their weapons. "Let's do it guys."

We go out into the wide hall, spreading out into a line, each of us about three to four feet apart. Our attackers are already pouring into the hall. I eye them as they freeze, taking in the line we've made in front of them. They zero in on us as I twirl my sai in my hand. They swarm us. We get to work.

I try to hide the pain by doing moves that don't need a lot of flexibility and minimum use of my left arm, but of course Donnie notices. I'm not usually so reserved. And of course he has to ask right now.

"What happened Lee?"

"Not now Donny!" I duck a swipe at my head, coming back up with a fist for the guy's face.

"Yes now! What and how bad?"

"You hurt Lee?"

Great. Leo too. "There was a hole. I fell right in running away from the other building after escaping."

"Other building?"

"I'll tell you later. But I didn't connect the 'why' until today. Samael somehow knew Raph and I would escape. I betchya there was more than one hole. And I just happened to land in one of them." I grab a foot headed towards my side, twisting it and grinning at the sickly popping sound and the cry that follows.

"Dare I ask how bad?"

"Not bad Don. I'm doing fine right now aren't I?"

He eyes me at a moment of reprieve. His wrist flicks out and hits me in the shoulder with his bo staff. Pretty hard too. I 'yipe', putting a hand to my shoulder. I glare at him. "_Ow!"_

He glares back. "Your arm was disconnected again."

He turns away from me, fighting again as a new wave of people come up. He swings his staff around and I have to duck a little to avoid getting hit too. I look around me when I straighten to see a small open circle around me. Then I have to jump back in.

"Well, while we're on the topic of injuries, how are you guys?"

"Can't complain," Leo answers. "But I sure could go for some food right now. Pizza... or Chinese. Wow, that sounds good."

Oh yeah. "Chinese or pizza sounds amazing right now. Maybe we'll order both when we get home?"

"I could go for a good cup of coffee," Donnie chimes in. "Actually, anything warm and soothing."

"Even tea?" Leo teases. Tea isn't really Donnie's favorite.

"Even tea," he laughs.

I smile at the casual conversation. But it disappears when I remember Raph and Mikey. Where are they? My breathing is becoming strained. I can't take this too much longer. I can't sit out until Raph and Mike get here. Even then… I don't really want to sit out. What if something happens because I'm not helping? But… I can't breath without pain. What if they're hurt? What if-

There's a click. Then, "Anyone need backup?"

I breathe a huge sigh of relief at the voice in my ear. My breathing becomes a fraction easier. "Raph. You guys get it done?"

I hear him chuckle. "Done and ready. Brains and Brawn are on our way. Well… temporary brains. We're comin' your way sweetheart. Then you can rest."

I smile to myself. Even over the headset he knows when I'm not doing too well.

"Great. Did the distraction work for you?"

"Perfectly. How're you doin' down there? You sound a little winded."

"I am a little. Backup would be gre-" I'm cut off by a swipe towards my neck. I lean back, only far enough so that it grazes my neck, leaving the most shallow cut. But the wire to my earpiece is severed now. I sigh in irritation before targeting the guy who did it, hitting him right on in the chest.

I pull the earpiece out and toss it to the ground in irritation. "I need wireless earpieces Donnie!" I call over my shoulder.

"I'll put that on my to-do list," he replies sarcastically.

"You do that."

"We getting help Lee?" Leo lands next to me.

I turn to him. "Eventually."

"What do you mean _eventually_?"

"They're on their way!"

He leaps away to help Don, growling under his breath.

I'm turning away when something hits my shoulder. I cry out, putting my hand to it. A foot connects with my face. I hit the ground rolling. When I stop, I'm clenching my teeth at the pain in my side that has gotten ten times worse. I curl up, trying to get a better way to breathe. It's very difficult. I still have my hand on my shoulder. But it's not just because of the pain anymore. It's become my lifeline.

It's in this position that I look up to see shoes stepping into my line of vision. I look up to Samael. He smirks at me. "So we meet again."

When I get my breathing back, I finally push myself up, slowly, eventually making it to a sitting position. "You knew we would."

"Did I?"

"We're not stupid. We knew this was a trap." I glance up at a huge guard that comes to stand next to me. Alright. What's that for? I'm practically disabled. Unless… he plans on making that worse.

"Yet you came anyway."

"Because we're family. No one gets left behind. No matter what."

He raises his eyebrows. "No matter what?"

I hear a commotion behind me before I can make sense of what he's asking. I turn to Raph and Mikey fighting their way towards us. I notice the hallway is mostly empty now. They stop next to Don and Leo, looking at me in complete shock. In Raph's eyes, there's a drowning level of horror.

He covers it up with anger when he looks up to Samael before looking back down to me. He growls, eyeing me, taking note of the way I'm not breathing right and holding my side as if I'd fall apart if I didn't. I wouldn't be surprised actually.

Samael chuckles. "I was wondering where you were. I'm surprised you let her out of your sight."

Raph growls, but answers, his eyes flashing. "I even gave her the roll of bait."

I smile at the challenge in his voice.

Sam looks back to me, though still talking to Raph. "You actually have perfect timing. I was just asking your girl here about the 'no person left behind' policy. How it was what you did. No matter the cost."

I don't like the direction this is going at all.

Raph's eyes narrow. "Yes."

Sam looks to the guard next to him, who kneels next to me, as he turns to Raph.

A flash of recognition goes through my head when the guard looks at me. But a black wall of forgotten memories blocks it. What does _he_ have to do with anything? The feeling is strengthened when he grins at me. I feel a sickness growing in the pit of my stomach. No. Something isn't right about him.

I'm snapped back to the present when Samael talks again. "What if something happens to her? Would you regret coming back?"

I knew it. I look to Raph, pleading with him to not do anything stupid.

Raph's eyes harden. The liquid amber hardens into a gold fire. I can see the fire blazing in him. I can literally watch as his eyes get darker. "We all know there's a risk of losing someone while rescuing another. There is no one person that we'd rather have dead than another. We all just promise to do what we can. Fighting, protecting, helping, and, my personal favorite, avenging."

Ahh. A hidden warning.

I see Leo eye him approvingly as Samael turns to look at me. "So if I gave you a choice now. You wouldn't take it?"

Raph inclines his head. "What choice?"

"Would you trade one of your brothers for her? You'd get her back. As she is right now. Not another touch to her."

I see a flash of something go through all of their eyes.

I grit my teeth. "Don't you dare," I hiss through them. I'm not just talking to Raph. And they know it.

Raph grins at me. It leaves instantly when he turns to Samael. "I think you have my answer." Then his face changes. "But what if _I _replaced her."

There's the something stupid I was talking about earlier. "_No!"_ The yell echoes in the quiet hallway.

Samael continues like I hadn't spoken. "No. Not you. That ruins the whole purpose. Her… or one of your brothers. Your choice. Her life is in your hands."

Raph growls. "_No_. It's in _yours_." His glare turns in to an evil grin. One that even if directed at _me_ would send shivers down my spine. "Just like if you touch her, _your_ life is in _my _hands."

"Oh _I'm_ not the one who's going to touch her."

He looks down at the guard kneeling next to me.

The guard moves fast. Before I can react, there's an expertly positioned kick at my leg and a punch to my side at the same time. There's a snap. Pain shoots up my leg, connecting with the fire in my side. I scream a strangled scream before all air is gone.

* * *

**Thanks to a friend, i was getting an idea on what should have happened to Lee. this chapter was a starting point to actual information to what that was.**


	8. Chapter 7

**finished this just a few hours ago. i'll start the next one tomorrow.**

**Ch. 7**

The pain in my side isn't forgotten. It's joined by the new pain that consumes my leg. White flashes in my vision and darkness around the edges threaten to overtake me. I fight it. This is no time to pass out. I need to know how this ends.

I need to stay awake. In case these are the last moments I have with my family. But it's so hard. My leg hurts. My side hurts. It hurts _sooo_ bad. It's hard to breathe. Harder than ever before. Worse even than when I thought Raph was dead. I'm gasping for breath. But this time, seeing Raph isn't going to fix it. It's physical. And I don't know how bad it is.

I hear growls, hits, and cries as I fight the blackness. I am slightly aware of someone coming to my side. I feel something touching my leg. My pant leg is gingerly pulled up. They're telling me it's okay. Don. It's Donnie. Thank God it's Donnie. I'm going to be okay.

I hear him curse under his breath. That's not good. He never does that. How bad is my leg? It hurts like… like someone snapped it completely in half. And my side… if Hell burns more than this, then I never want to go there.

"Is she okay Donnie?" Mikey.

"The bone is completely snapped in two."

Oh. Well that explains it.

He pulls up the leg a little more but immediately pulls it back down. He curses again. A longer string this time.

"What? _Donnie?"_

"The bone broke the skin. I can see it."

I hear Mikey's breath catch. I force my eyes open, waiting for the dizziness to go away before I turn to see him. He has a hand over his mouth, his face a little pale. I reach out to him. "Hey."

He immediately takes my hand. "Hey. You okay?"

I let a slight smile grace my lips for him. "I hurt a little."

Don turns to me. "I'm surprised you're still awake. I've never actually heard you scream before."

I close my eyes. "It's hard to stay awake. But I want to make sure everyone gets out okay."

Mike groans. "I'll be back Lee." He let's go of my hand and leaves.

I don't open my eyes. "Don. It's hard to breath. Really hard."

He sighs. "I forgot about that."

I feel him begin to prod at my side. I bite my lip, making it bleed.

"Um… Lee… I think you have a broken rib."

I cry out as he barely pushes in, not able to hold it in.

"Uh… make that two."

"I already knew… one was broken," I get out between breaths.

He curses again.

"Wow. Three times in the past… three minutes. I must be… in bad shape."

"Literally," he hisses. "One of your ribs is pressing into your left lung. That's why you can't breath."

I process that. Pressing into it. Not punctured. That means a little more and I could be dieing right now. _Could_ be. But I'm not. I had feared worse than this. But Raph is still going to kill me when he finds out. Raph!

My eyes snap open and begin looking for him. Searching. I see Mike coming back to me, looking tired. And a little more pale. Leo comes around the corner next. He's got a lot of blood on him and he looks… strained. But then comes Raph.

He looks like one of the living dead. Covered in blood, eyes on fire, and looking like a zombie that will rip the next person to approach his line of vision limb from limb. Then I notice the cuts on him. And I begin to wonder if I wasn't that far from the living dead thing.

"Raph!" It doesn't come out as a yell. More as a cry of pain.

His eyes snap to mine, melting to the ones I know and love as they make contact. He runs to me. I see the cuts on him aren't too horrible as he gets closer. But I wish they were getting bandaged up. It looks like there are a few deep ones.

I look to Leo as Raph takes my hand. "What's the story?" My voice comes out as a whisper.

"We won't have anyone else to worry about. But we have to ditch." I see him glance at Raph. What was that? Fear? Why would he be afraid?

Raph is looking at Don. "How bad Don? The truth."

Don and I both blink at Raph's voice. The hardness and resentment. But Don answers. "He snapped her leg completely in two. The… bone broke the skin."

Raph growls a deep growl, his hand that's not holding mine clenching into a tight fist as he squeezes his eyes shut. He's shaking.

"She… also has two broken ribs and may have a third cracked."

Raph's eyes snap to mine. "You said _one_ was _cracked_."

I close my eyes. "I knew… at least one was… broken."

Don cuts in to keep me from talking anymore. "Someone threw her to the ground. It could have loosened the second. And when he punched her, it caused the rest. He threw a hard punch at her."

Raph eyes me suspiciously, but doesn't ask about the hitches in my breathing.

Leo turns to Don. "Let's go. We have to get _out_ of here before someone _gets_ here or we're in trouble."

Don groans as he sighs. "We can't move her. She's in so much pain." As Raph is looking at me, Don gives Leo a serious look. Leo gets it. There's more Don's not telling right now in front of Raph.

Leo thinks a moment. "Hold on." He goes into one of the rooms down the hall. He comes back, carrying a flat surface of some sort. He lays it down, next to me. "Put her on this. Then we'll carry her out."

Don grins at him. "Perfect Leo." He turns to Raph and Mikey. "I need your help guys." He looks at Mikey. "Pick her up with one arm under her shoulder, and one under her lower back." He turns to Raph. "I know you'll do what you can to keep her leg from hurting. You get her bad leg." He turns to Leo. "Support her lower body."

He puts a hand under my left shoulder and another under my lower back. "Okay. Quickly. Go."

I can't hold on to consciousness anymore. As a wave of indescribable pain goes up my leg and through my side, I lose it. With a last wine I let myself go under blackness, willingly, hoping they'll hurry now that they don't have to worry about hurting me.

***

"No!"

I wake with a start. I don't sit up. I somehow subconsciously know I'm hurt. But I wake up shaking. I remember what happened. What that b******* did to me. What Samael let him do. The guard. I remember now. A wave of nausea hits my stomach.

"_The less you struggle, the sooner it's over. And the sooner you can go back."_

Then a wave of sadness runs over me. I had _let _him. I didn't fight. I had betrayed Raph by not fighting.

"_Do what you want with her."_

He had left me with him, waving me off as if I was just a piece of junk not worth keeping anymore.

"_If you fight, we'll hurt the_ creature. _If you want to keep him safe, you should stop struggling."_

The _creature_. They called him a _creature_. But I had stopped struggling. To keep him from getting hurt. But in doing so, I betrayed him. I had let him do what he wanted with me. Then he too had thrown me to the ground and left me there before eventually taking me back.

All of these thoughts run through my head so fast, they're over before the figure next to the bed puts a hand to my face to calm me. I turn to Leo as tears begin overflowing before I can stop them. But they're not just from my memory. My chest is hurting. A mental pain from the revelation. Then there's the physical pain. My ribs.

"Lee? What's wrong?"

My chest is heaving. With each breath another shot of pain goes through my side. It's excruciating pain. "Leo. Calm me down. Do something. Anything. My side hurts. It hurts to breathe."

He strokes my face, moving the hair out of the way. "I'd go get Raph, but he's under strict orders to stay in bed from Donnie."

That works. Not at calming me down, but stopping my breathing. I look to him. "Okay. That worked. But please tell me you're kidding. He's okay, isn't he?"

He smiles slightly. "He's going to be just fine. He lost a lot of blood from all of those cuts. But he's more worried about you. He's been wanting to see you all day."

I close my eyes, keeping my breaths small and shallow. "How long have I been out?"

"Donnie's kept you out for two days. He put Raph out for all of yesterday when we got home. Just waiting all of today to see you has driven him insane."

I frown, opening my eyes. "Why did Donnie put Raph out?"

There's that look again. Not on his face. Leo's good at hiding his emotions, but I see deeper into his eyes than anyone else. It's a ghost of a feeling from before. A memory of fear. Fear of what? Leo isn't scared of anything. But that look. There's no mistaking it. Something is making Leo nervous.

"Raph was… really worked up. He was really bad when Don had to tell him you had to have surgery. Thanks to April's friend. Remember hearing about him?"

I nod. "The doctor you met a long time ago?"

"Yeah. When Don told him you were almost in a life threatening condition, Mikey had to calm him down for us. I don't know how he did it." He shakes his head incredulously.

I smile slightly. Mikey and Raph have a special bond somewhere in there. They're both each other's comfort friend. "Mike's always been good with Raph. But… what scares you Leo?"

He looks to me in surprise. "Nothing."

I glare at him. "I can see it Leo. What about Raph scares you?"

He sighs, not meeting my eyes. "The way he attacked those guys. When he heard you scream it was like all hell was let loose. The look in his eyes. It was like that darkness was in him all over again. Let me tell you. The guy who hit you and 'Samael' didn't have easy deaths."

We both shiver at that.

He looks to me now. "It scared me to see him like that again."

"Is that why Mikey was so pale when he came back?"

Leo shakes his head. "Mike has never doubted Raph. It was the gore. That hallway around the corner…" he trails off, shaking his head.

I nod once. I take Leo's hand. When he looks at me again, I catch his eyes. "Don't be afraid of him Leo. Trust him. It's that fire that saves our butts in the worst trouble. Because he loves us. Don't let the hate directed toward our enemies scare you."

Leo smiles at me. "I know." His smile gets bigger. "But you should have seen his face as he finally got to push the button on the detonator. It was the face of the devil damning people to Hell. I'm not going to repeat the list of words that were coming out of his mouth at the time."

Tears escape as I laugh with Leo before I force myself to keep from laughing. "I would have loved to see that."

"If it wasn't directed at them and at me instead, I think I would have died on the spot from just the spite directed at me. The saying 'If looks could kill' was the most able description of that."

I laugh slightly, controlling most of it this time.

Leo wipes away the tears from before. "Are you okay?"

"It hurts some."

He snorts at that.

I look to him in surprise. That's a rare sound for Leo. "What?"

"You just had surgery the other day and Don says if you move too much you'd scream from pain and you say 'it hurts _some_'. You're incredible."

I grin. "Thanks."

He rolls his eyes. "Do you want me to see if Don will let Raph up?"

That kills my mood right there. I don't want to face him. Not yet. I need some way to tell him. But I want to see him. See that he's okay. I guess I could tell him later. Not today. Not now. Maybe when he's better. I don't want to hurt him more than he is now. But yeah. I do want to see him.

Leo doesn't have time to notice the short pause. I smile a half real smile. "Yeah."

He smiles back. "Okay." He leaves, closing the door behind him.

* * *

**i was talking to a friend who knew someone (and a few other tags to that) that had been taken advantage of. not what had happened here, but it gave me the idea. and my friend said she was blaming herself for the longest time. so what i added here and so on is kind of like what my friend said she did. **


	9. Chapter 8

**here's the next one. almost done. maybe one more chapter. kinda short but longer than others. **

**Ch. 8**

I'm looking at the ceiling of Don's room, wondering why I've never asked where he sleeps when he keeps me in here, to keep my mind off of my memory when I hear the door open. I turn my head to see Raph's unmistakable silhouette against the light. I smile despite myself. "Hey."

I hear him sigh a sigh of relief as he comes to sit on the edge of the bed. He rubs the back of his hand across my cheek. "Hey. How're you feeling?"

Not good. "I'm okay."

He leans down, giving me a light kiss. "You'd think that after everything that's happened to us, I'd be used to you being dubbed the weakest link and targeted." He buries his head in my neck. "I love you."

I put my right arm (my only good one) around him. "I love you too."

We lay like that for a while. Just him leaning into me and my arm around him in silence. Just relaxing with each other. There's a comfort to this that calms me to no end. Maybe it's the way he shows his weaker side. How he makes me feel protected and the protector all at the same time. I like that.

"What's wrong?" I finally ask. I've never seen him this drained.

"I should have made you wait." He doesn't move his face from my neck and his breath against it makes me shiver.

"I'm glad you didn't."

"Hmph. Why?"

I fight with myself on if I should tell him or not. "Besides not being left alone to wonder what's going on and able to fight for myself… I… remember what happened."

I feel him stiffen. "What happened?"

"I… don't want to talk about it right now. Maybe later."

He sits up and kisses me. "It's okay. I'll wait."

I breathe an internal sigh of relief. "Thanks. But… speaking of later, how long is healing going to take?"

I'm glad he follows the subject change, chuckling at my annoyed tone. "That drip that Donnie has in you has that healing stuff in it. You'll be fine in maybe 2… 3 days tops."

I look at the drip, then back to Raph, purposely keeping from looking at the needle in my arm. "Why is he doing it that way?"

He keeps in the grin I see threatening to come out. He knows how much I hate needles. My one true unreasonable fear. "It'll heal you slower. If it went at it's normal speed, he says it might heal the bones too fast and they'll heal wrong. Then he'd have to have the doctor reset them."

I make a face. "Oh."

He grins. "Yeah. We don't want that." He leans down and kisses me on the forehead. "I'm glad you're okay."

I look him over. "How 'bout you?"

"Eh. I'll be fine. These scratches'll be healed up about the same time you'll be okay. It's fine."

I'm making sure he's telling the truth by looking him over when I see the thick bandage around his wrist. I take his hand and turn it over to see the tiny dot of blood that had tried to bleed through. I look up to him, raising an eyebrow.

"Seriously Lee. You need to relax. It was nothing."

"How deep did it get?"

He huffs at me. "Just deep enough to make me bleed a lot, Don to have to stitch me up and wrap it over because of how deep, and you to worry."

I glare at him. "Stitches and heavy bleeding and you tell me it's nothing?"

"Yeah, that's what I'm sayin'. A scratch."

I sigh as I close my eyes. "Whatever. As long as you're okay."

"I'm okay love. But you need to relax." I feel him stand up.

My eyes snap open. "Don't leave."

He smiles down at me. "I'm not about to move you so I can lay down. And honestly, I'm tired." He makes a contemplating face. "Besides. I think I remember Don threatening murder if I kept you awake too long."

I smile. "Don't worry, I'll protect you."

He grins, leaning over me, a hand on either side of my head. "_I'd_ murder _you_ if you got up out of that bed. But I'll be right down the hall. Holler if ya need anythin'." He kisses me. "I love you."

"I love you too." I watch him as he opens the door and gives one last longing glance as he leaves, shutting the door. I close my eyes.

***

"Relax Leo."

"I'd be a lot more relaxed if you'd wait at least one more day."

"Leo, Donnie says I'm perfectly healed. Raph's right. Relax. We're just going up to our roof to get some fresh air. We'll be back. I promise we'll both come back in one piece"

He uncrosses his arms, sighing in defeat. "Alright." He looks to Raph. "_Both _of you be careful."

"Yes, oh fearless one," Raph replies, turning and heading out the door.

He sighs.

I go to Leo and take his face in my hands. "Seriously. Relax. Breathe."

He rolls his eyes.

I pull away, smiling, before turning and running after Raph.

We make our way through the sewers in silence, holding hands, fingers intertwined. But it isn't as peaceful as I wish it was. Not for me. I have to tell him now. About what I did. And I'm not looking forward to it. In fact, I'm dreading it. How could he ever forgive me for that?

I study him with sidelong glances as we walk. I watch as he jumps up to the road and keep watching him as I follow him up to the top of the buildings. I admire him in case this is going to be the last time I can call him mine. In case he realizes how horrible I was. I can't expect him to forgive and forget. Not this time.

We sit down on the roof, side by side like it used to be. How it's always been. Ever since we met. Watching the sun set below the top of the buildings, turning the sky to a beautiful orange-red color. His color. I look to him again. God I love him. I freaking love him so much. There is no one else. Never will be.

I study his arms. His well toned muscles, the scars down his arms, and the healing cuts from a few days ago. I can't help but reach out and run my fingers over them. Memorizing them like the others. I don't look up when he turns to me until I get to the one on the front of his shoulder. I run my thumb over the less healed cut as I look up to him.

I drown in the love and adoration I see in his golden eyes. I look deep into them as he looks into mine. I resist the urge to kiss him, looking away instead. How could I have done that to him? To the one who loves me? Who has done everything he could to protect me ever since that first night.

_You did it to protect him. He was threatened._

_Yes, but was he serious? Samael was the one in charge. Not the guard. He wouldn't have wanted Raph hurt. I could have fought._

Raph puts his hand under my chin, lifting my face to look at him. I keep my eyes diverted for as long as possible. But I don't want to hurt him by making him think I'm mad at him. My heart begins beating erratically as I see the confusion in his eyes.

"What's the matter sweetheart?"

I can't hold it in anymore. My tears begin spilling out as sobs begin to finally rip their way out of my lungs. The sobs I have held in for the past three days. The guilt that is finally being let loose. They only get harder when Raph pulls me into his arms and tries to comfort me.

He shushes me as he rubs my back while I cling to him. He shouldn't be comforting me. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything from him anymore except the anger I know is going to come. It's only a matter of time.

When I finally control myself, Raph sits me in his lap, putting his arms securely around me. Then he leans his head down, laying it on my shoulder. "What is it love?"

It all spills out then. There's no use keeping it from him. He doesn't deserve that. So I do what Mikey does. I let it all come out in a rush. I let my mouth run, not thinking about what I'm saying. I don't look to him as I talk. But I can feel his reactions all around me.

I feel his breathing speed up, his arms flex around me, and eventually hear a very deep growl in the back of his throat. It gets louder and louder. Then he snaps. "_What?!"_

I flinch at the sudden outburst. Then I find myself sitting on the ground. Alone. I hear a crack, then cursing, and turn to Raph punching the wall. He does it a second time. And a third. And fourth. He then turns to me, eyes blazing.

I flinch again. "I'm… sorry."

He's in front of me then. He takes me by my upper arms, lifting me to my feet and pushing me back against the wall. His eyes burn into mine. But I don't feel the hatred that should be directed at me. How weird.

"They did _WHAT_ to you?! Tell me again so I know I'm not hearing things."

I'm confused. "What _they_ did? But it was _my _faul-"

I'm cut off by his mouth on mine. He pulls back breathing hard. I can tell he's trying hard to keep himself in check. I can feel his hands shaking and constantly re-loosening around my arms. His eyes burn into mine again. "That. Was _not_. Your fault." He kisses me again, but I push him away. With trouble.

"But it _was_ my fault!" I pull out of his grip. I get my breath back and find my voice rising. "I _let_ them! I didn't fight them!"

"But he threatened me! You and I _both_ know you'd do anything to keep them from hurting me! So that's what you did! You gave yourself to him to keep them away from _me_!"

I can only look at him, tears going down my face, hands clenched at my sides, and breathing so hard it hurts. How did he see redemption in that? I don't understand. "But I _let_ them." My voice is quiet again.

"I know." His voice is quiet now too, but he's still shaking. "And I wish you had fought it. But Lee. It wasn't your fault. He _forced_ you. And that shouldn't have happened." He comes up to me and pulls me into a tight hug. "That shouldn't ever happen to anyone."

I relax in his shaking arms, finally accepting the fact that he's mad at them, not me. I still don't understand. I don't think I will ever understand him. But that's Raph. Though I can't say I'm not relieved. But his arms are still shaking. So I feel the need to say, "I'm sorry."

He pulls back, grabbing my shoulders. He glares at me. "No. You're not."

My heart stops then. He gets it. He realizes I'm a horrible person. That he shouldn't waste his love on me. He backs me up to the wall behind me. I feel my back hit it but can't take my eyes off of his.

"Do you know why?"

He gives me no time to answer.

"Because you have nothing to be sorry _for_."

All thoughts and protests are swept away. I am suddenly hyper-aware of everything around me. I have only a second to wonder when it started raining before even those thoughts are gone.

* * *

**As i said in the last chapter, the girl i heard about kept blaming herself for what happened. it took her a long time before she finally was convinced that it wasn't her fault and she was able to move on. i kinda used that in this chapter. and i'm glad she had a happy ending herself. she is so much better now.**


	10. Chapter 9

**sorry it took me so long. first week of school, then the second was full of homework and tests. but at least this is the last chapter. don't know if i'll write another or not. so this might be it. thanks for the reviews. hope you all liked it. not many chapters, but they were longer than some of my other stories.**

**Ch. 9**

"When did you two get home last night?"

Ahhh. Interrogation time. Of course. What else could you expect from Leo when you didn't get home at 'curfew'. I walk straight past him, making a beeline to the fridge. I'm starving. And I want good food today. I open it and instantly laugh an evil laugh as I see the box of donuts. I grab them before turning to him. "I don't know. I fell asleep when Raph was carrying me home. Then went to bed."

Leo frowns. "Why was he carrying you home?"

I sit down on the couch, opening the box to see only two donuts left. I laugh another evil laugh. I look up to him as I get one. "I was tired." I rip off a piece of donut and put it in my mouth as I watch Leo decide whether to press that or not. I fight a grin.

He settles with nodding. "So… you're okay?"

I nod, my mouth full.

"But it rained."

I roll my eyes. "Which is why I changed into dry clothes when we got back." My mouth is a little less full this time.

Leo still frowns at my Mikey-like behavior. "Where did you get those bruises on your arms?"

Oh. Well I _thought_ it was my behavior. Uh… hmmm. Truth, or lie. Well, lieing would make it seem deliberate. "Raph was upset," I say, looking at them.

I look up to see his eyes wide. After a second he says what his expression is already saying. "What?!"

_Very_ happy with the fact that I'm eating good food for the first time since before the whole crisis, (Don had me eating healthy stuff while healing) I have to answer around another bite. "Relax Leo. It was an accident."

"I was thinking and hoping that. But are you sure?"

"As many times as he apologized and how bad he freaked out this morning, I can say I'm pretty darn sure." I take another bite. "Besides, he reacted better than I thought he would."

Leo raises his eyebrows. "_Better_? To _what_?"

I grimace. "What… happened."

"Oh. Yeah. Raph told me about your memory lapse. So… what _did_ happen?" He sits down next to me, putting an arm around my shoulders.

"I don't… really want to talk about it."

He nods understandingly.

"I wouldn't ask Raph either. He'll still probably be a little worked up about it."

Leo shakes his head. "How bad was it?"

"Pretty bad."

It's silent for a minute. I wonder if he's figuring it out.

"So… where _is_ Raph?"

"Shower." I'm starting the second donut. I feel good today. Better. Better than I have in about a week. I feel whole. Secure. Just Raph. That's all I needed to be healed. To take away the shame. He still loves me. I am still his. And apparently nothing is ever going to change that.

"Wow. You look different today."

I turn to Donnie. I smile. "I _feel_ different."

He's headed to the kitchen to get his morning coffee. "Better even than just yesterday."

"Yeah. Raph can do that to her."

I turn and glare at Mikey who has just come down for breakfast.

He grins at me for a moment. Then he notices what I'm eating. "Noooo!"

I grin and put the last bite in my mouth as he runs to the fridge to check if there are anymore. As another 'Nooo!' echoes through the lair, I turn to Leo. "Ahh, sweet revenge."

Leo rolls his eyes and I see Don shaking a little as he pours himself his coffee. Then there's a voice behind me. "Okay. _Who_ ate the last donuts?"

I turn to Raph coming down the stairs. I raise a hand. "Guilty."

He chuckles. "Of course. The first day you're _allowed_ to have junk food…"

I roll my eyes. "Duh." Then I grin. "It was an accidental revenge on Mikey too."

He takes Leo's spot when he gets up. "Revenge for what?"

"A 'hinting' joke."

"Ah." He turns to glare at Mike, who's mumbling something about hiding the good food so I won't steal it. I throw the empty box at him, hitting him in the back of the head. He turns to glare at me, but doesn't act on it, seeing Raph right next to me.

It's not like our relationship details are secret. It's just that it's not the most comfortable subject to talk about with my 'mostly brothers'. A joke here and there is as much as it's mentioned. And I thank them all for sparing me _that_ much.

Donnie comes over with an extra cup of coffee. He obviously sees my arms. He gives me a 'tell me later' look before going to his lab as I get a drink."

Raph is running the back of his fingers over the bruises, frowning. He looks up to me as he lightly pushes on them. "Are you sure I didn't hurt you?"

I don't feel bruises. The pain is so insignificant that I don't feel them. So I'm telling the truth when I say, "The only way I know they're there is the color. I don't feel a thing."

His eyes meet mine when I say the same sentence I had said last week. Then he grins. It's so sudden, I don't understand it.

"What?"

"You know what I haven't noticed in a while?"

My head tilts to the side. "What?"

"Your eyes."

I smile. "Why now?"

"I didn't notice how… dark they were during everything. Because they're blue again… I realize all the times I should have known you were in pain. When I should have stopped you."

"You couldn't have."

"But I didn't even try. When I think about it now, I should have seen you were hurting. But there was also a void. I could see… you were torn inside. But I didn't stop to think about it. Didn't stop to talk. Even though you couldn't remember. I mentioned it that night, but I didn't take the time to think about how bad it was. How bad your were hurt."

"Raph-"

"And you could have died. And I would have been left with your…" He looks up to me. His eyes seem to dig into mine. The emotion I see takes my breath away. "I'd be left with the image of your eyes so dark as they were when you were laying there. I'd be left with the scream of your agony. What I've never heard before."

"But you weren't." He always does this. The 'what ifs' of how it all could have gone. All of them being his fault.

He pulls me to him. "No. I wasn't. But the thought that I could have been…"

I let him pull me close to him and curl up at his side. It's at times like these that I still feel like a little girl. That needs protecting and comforting. But in reality, _I'm _comforting _him_. Protecting _him_.

Because if I didn't reassure him that I was okay, then he'd keep beating himself up with the worst case scenarios. And knowing his heart like I do, behind all those outer walls there's a very vulnerable heart. One that needs protecting. And that's what I try my best to do. It's my job.

"I love you."

He rubs his head across the top of mine before laying it on it. "I love you too." After a second, he adds something. "No matter what."

My eyes tear up. I blink them away, quickly, before anyone can notice. "You promise?"

"I promise."

***

I lay against him for a long time. He eventually falls asleep, because of the lack of sleep from last night, as I think. About everything that's happened. I do this after every major event that happens to us. Evaluate it. Because I want to know what's changed. But after this one, not many things have changed.

Besides Raph and I re-realizing that life is too short, me being reminded how much he loves me, and Mikey being the hero, nothing's really different. And I think I'm pretty glad about that. We've had worse trouble. I'm just glad that none of them were badly hurt this time. That they all got out safe.

Raph would argue that. He'd say we didn't all get out safe. But in my opinion, we did. Because if I had died, they'd be who they were before. But if one of _them_ had died... we'd all be suffering. Yes, I know they'd be upset if I hadn't made it. But to me, all that matters is them.

I look up and smile when I see Raph's head back against the back of the couch, mouth partly open. Yeah. Things ended okay this time. It was bad enough to re-learn that life is short. Sometimes shorter than we would like. But it all ended fine. We're still together. Still a family. My family. And nothing is ever going to change that.

I look around the room at the others around me. Donnie, Leo, Mikey. Mikey on the couch next to me, Leo and Don piled practically on top of each other on the other chair even though there's plenty of room. Of course, it didn't start out that way. Then there's Raph and I. And the T.V. still on.

I smile when Don moves more on top of Leo, who has to move again to get comfortable. This leads to Don laying across Leo's lap. What, is the other side not comfortable or something? There's plenty of unused room for cryin' out loud. But no. They're piled on top of each other. I'm gonna have fun with that later. Maybe. I might be too nice to embarrass Donnie.

I reach for the remote. I can't reach it. I have to punch the bottom of the pillow it's on to make it bounce up towards me so I can catch it. I grin to myself, wishing someone was awake to see that.

I turn off the T.V. and lay against Raph again, getting comfortable for another 'sleepover on the couch because we fell asleep' night. Life is good. Tonight, we're all sleeping peacefully. Tomorrow could be a different story. So it's good to enjoy it while we can. God only knows what crazy psycho we're gonna be fighting tomorrow.


End file.
